The Saltiest Man on Earth didn't come to be by just grinding together a couple rocks one day and calling it Sodium Chloride.  It took years of dedication to perfecting the craft to earn that title.  And science.  Lots of it. 

So answer me this equation then, Professor:  What's a salt nic without the Salty Man?  By our calculations, that does not exist, and never even should.  So do yourself a solid and give the Man a shot - Not because you need it, but because simple math says so, and because you deserve it.